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SHERLOCK (indignantly):
“Boffin”. “Boffin Sherlock Holmes”.
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JOHN:
Everybody gets one.
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SHERLOCK:
One what?
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JOHN:
Tabloid nickname: ‘SuBo’; ‘Nasty Nick’. Shouldn’t worry – I’ll probably get one soon.
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SHERLOCK:
Page five, column six, first sentence.
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(John turns to the relevant page. Sherlock goes over to the fireplace, picks up the deerstalker, holds it up and punches it angrily.)
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SHERLOCK:
Why is it always the hat photograph?
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JOHN (looking at the newspaper article):
“Bachelor John Watson”?
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SHERLOCK:
What sort of hat is it anyway?
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JOHN:
“Bachelor”? What the hell are they implying?
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SHERLOCK (holding up the hat and twisting it back and forth rapidly):
Is it a cap? Why has it got two fronts?
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JOHN (glancing up briefly):
It’s a deerstalker. (He reads more of the article.) “Frequently seen in the company of bachelor John Watson ...”
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SHERLOCK:
You stalk a deer with a hat? What are you gonna do – throw it?
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JOHN (looking at another part of the article):
“... confirmed bachelor John Watson”!
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SHERLOCK:
Some sort of death frisbee?
